Greetings starfighter!
Due to your superior cunning and excellent taste in [flattering thing here], you have been selected by the benevolent minds of SYNPROV CORP to be a MONSTER PLANET Regional Ambassador! Welcome to our paracosmic brotherhood, one dedicated to going on musical adventures and making friends along the way.
Here, take this audio briefing with you. It’s dangerous to go alone.
Routine turbo encabulation in now process… . You’ll probably be fine... .
Standby for further instructions. … . .