Greetings starfighter!
Due to your superior cunning and excellent taste in [flattering thing here], you have been selected by the “benevolent” minds of SYNPROV CORP to be a MONSTER PLANET ambassador! You are now part of a paracosmic society, one dedicated to going on musical adventures and making friends along the way.
Take this audio briefing with you, it’s dangerous to go alone.
Pychotremic uncialibration in process… . Standby for further instructions. … . .